Are your kids constantly fighting over toys, fairness, turns, or sometimes nothing at all?
Sibling conflict can be exhausting, but constantly stepping in to referee every disagreement may solve the immediate problem without teaching children how to resolve conflict themselves.
In this episode of Little Moments, Lasting Impressions, Dr. Bethany Heyne looks at the psychology underneath sibling fighting, including perspective-taking, emotional regulation, cognitive flexibility, and problem-solving.
Using Notice It · Name It · Nurture It, you’ll learn when parents should step in, when to shift from referee to coach, and three questions that can help children begin solving disagreements instead of immediately bringing every conflict to you.
Because the goal isn’t children who never disagree. It’s children who gradually learn what to do when another person wants something different than they do.
Your kids are fighting again.
One says, “He started it.” The other says, “She took it.” And suddenly you’re investigating a disagreement about a blanket as though you’re preparing evidence for trial.
So you solve it. But twenty minutes later, they’re fighting again.
In this episode, we’re looking at sibling conflict differently, not as something parents need to eliminate, but as a place children can practice perspective-taking, emotion regulation, cognitive flexibility, and problem-solving.
You’ll learn how to shift from referee to coach using three questions:
What are you trying to make happen?
What is your sibling trying to make happen?
What could you try?
We’ll also talk about when parents should step in, because coaching conflict doesn’t mean leaving children alone with unsafe behavior or significant power imbalances.
The goal isn’t children who never disagree. It’s children who gradually learn what to do when another person wants something different than they do.
