Oh yes! It can be exceptionally difficult, especially in some of our most triggering moments.
Before I learned what “anger” was for and how to use it as God intended, my brain alarm would flood to 10/10 angry! With time I learn how to let that anger be processed in healthy ways and it was so freeing to then feel only flooded to a 7 or a 4. Now, even my most triggering moments, my brain stays at a 3 or 4 out of 10.
I’m working on an article series about each of the emotions. It’s just a more tedious one to write. Hopefully I’ll have it out soon 🙏🏻
I’m so glad this resonated with you! Just know this: the barometer is designed to be helpful but sometimes hyper-conditioned in how fast it responds. That comes from childhood. But by God’s grace He is reforming our brains and reshaping our hearts as we bring this to him, day by day!
I was on a podcast last week talking about that very moment with David. His men were disgruntled because he didn't make his move when the situation presented itself. When David was asked why he didn't do anything, David pointed to what God wanted him to do. Let us point to God when we feel like are going to lose our cool. Let us point our kids back to God when they feel they are going to lose theirs as well.
Yes! Our cave (home) is much more peaceful when God’s way prevails. Now…purposefully pausing long enough to let The Lord’s Spirit answer for me is a topic for another article!
Please share a link to your podcast episode when it comes out!
I know I sound like a broken record, Bethany. But I cannot tell you how much these posts and your framework is resonating with me (Susan). And I realized just now after reading this one in particular that it's not only because of my intense love for children but the truth of my own story as well. I was raised by Christian parents but in an era where kids were to be primarily seen but not heard. As a result, I grew up with some intrapersonal deficits -- not the least of which was the inability to clearly name what I was feeling. So as a child my parents dealt with a lot of stubbornness because I behaved these hurts instead. Not until I was married did Mike help me process through these deficits and grieve the loss of not being heard and emotionally supported as a child. Which brings me to say I think your work can be adopted to help adults who had similar upbringings as my own. Thankfully God blessed us with great kids who, even despite some of our own failures as parents, became wise and loving parents themselves. So I'm most grateful that our grandchildren, thanks to God's grace, are thoroughly loved, supported, trained, and cared for in this way. And again, I say God bless you for doing such a valuable work!!
Awwww, my heart goes to you, Susan, as I read this! The “seen and not heard” snuck into generations, BUT I have been so encouraged by all the grandparents who are eager to learn, grow and rewrite the next generation! What a testament to Jesus’s grace living in us!! Praise God for Jesus (and for Mike!)
Regarding the adaptation, that encourages me so much! My vision has been for the fiction novels to take on that developmental role in helping adults grow through faith-filled-fiction stories (versus traditional “self-help”). Still working on how best to frame it 😉
Your faithfulness to read each article and show how it resonates with you is suuuuucchhh a blessing & encouragement to me. Thank you!! 🙏🏻
P.S. I remember being around 12 when my mom and grandmother told me about “seen and not heard”. My response was something sassy, along the lines of “well, I’d have a bar of soap in my mouth constantly” 🫢
I’m inspired by you all in the generation before me, who is so dedicated to continuing to raise us (and now our children) well. My own mother, mother-in-law, aunts and all the aunts-in-law are my biggest supporters 🥰
When I see 💡 lightbulbs 🤯 go off for them, I know I’m onto something.
That's funny! Like that spunk!! And how cool that all those "moms" in your family are so supportive of your work! What a blessing... and excellent "markers" to know your hitting the target!! 😊
You're a dear, Bethany! And I so agree... what a testament to God's grace that we grandparents can learn and grow and love more effectively those precious children that are in our world now, as well as better honor these God-ordained principles in ourselves.
That makes sense in terms of helping the adults through the fiction version. I like that. I'm gonna order your book before the end of this week (meant to already) to have as a reference for working with both children and parents. I'm just such a fan... so you're most welcome that I read each article but I truly look forward to it each week. They're just so full of goodness. So thank you! 🙏
I’m an adult and sometimes this is still hard for me. I love how you call my zero to one-hundred emotion barometer “brains alarm system”.
Oh yes! It can be exceptionally difficult, especially in some of our most triggering moments.
Before I learned what “anger” was for and how to use it as God intended, my brain alarm would flood to 10/10 angry! With time I learn how to let that anger be processed in healthy ways and it was so freeing to then feel only flooded to a 7 or a 4. Now, even my most triggering moments, my brain stays at a 3 or 4 out of 10.
I’m working on an article series about each of the emotions. It’s just a more tedious one to write. Hopefully I’ll have it out soon 🙏🏻
I’m so glad this resonated with you! Just know this: the barometer is designed to be helpful but sometimes hyper-conditioned in how fast it responds. That comes from childhood. But by God’s grace He is reforming our brains and reshaping our hearts as we bring this to him, day by day!
I was on a podcast last week talking about that very moment with David. His men were disgruntled because he didn't make his move when the situation presented itself. When David was asked why he didn't do anything, David pointed to what God wanted him to do. Let us point to God when we feel like are going to lose our cool. Let us point our kids back to God when they feel they are going to lose theirs as well.
Yes! Our cave (home) is much more peaceful when God’s way prevails. Now…purposefully pausing long enough to let The Lord’s Spirit answer for me is a topic for another article!
Please share a link to your podcast episode when it comes out!
I know I sound like a broken record, Bethany. But I cannot tell you how much these posts and your framework is resonating with me (Susan). And I realized just now after reading this one in particular that it's not only because of my intense love for children but the truth of my own story as well. I was raised by Christian parents but in an era where kids were to be primarily seen but not heard. As a result, I grew up with some intrapersonal deficits -- not the least of which was the inability to clearly name what I was feeling. So as a child my parents dealt with a lot of stubbornness because I behaved these hurts instead. Not until I was married did Mike help me process through these deficits and grieve the loss of not being heard and emotionally supported as a child. Which brings me to say I think your work can be adopted to help adults who had similar upbringings as my own. Thankfully God blessed us with great kids who, even despite some of our own failures as parents, became wise and loving parents themselves. So I'm most grateful that our grandchildren, thanks to God's grace, are thoroughly loved, supported, trained, and cared for in this way. And again, I say God bless you for doing such a valuable work!!
Awwww, my heart goes to you, Susan, as I read this! The “seen and not heard” snuck into generations, BUT I have been so encouraged by all the grandparents who are eager to learn, grow and rewrite the next generation! What a testament to Jesus’s grace living in us!! Praise God for Jesus (and for Mike!)
Regarding the adaptation, that encourages me so much! My vision has been for the fiction novels to take on that developmental role in helping adults grow through faith-filled-fiction stories (versus traditional “self-help”). Still working on how best to frame it 😉
Your faithfulness to read each article and show how it resonates with you is suuuuucchhh a blessing & encouragement to me. Thank you!! 🙏🏻
P.S. I remember being around 12 when my mom and grandmother told me about “seen and not heard”. My response was something sassy, along the lines of “well, I’d have a bar of soap in my mouth constantly” 🫢
I’m inspired by you all in the generation before me, who is so dedicated to continuing to raise us (and now our children) well. My own mother, mother-in-law, aunts and all the aunts-in-law are my biggest supporters 🥰
When I see 💡 lightbulbs 🤯 go off for them, I know I’m onto something.
That's funny! Like that spunk!! And how cool that all those "moms" in your family are so supportive of your work! What a blessing... and excellent "markers" to know your hitting the target!! 😊
You're a dear, Bethany! And I so agree... what a testament to God's grace that we grandparents can learn and grow and love more effectively those precious children that are in our world now, as well as better honor these God-ordained principles in ourselves.
That makes sense in terms of helping the adults through the fiction version. I like that. I'm gonna order your book before the end of this week (meant to already) to have as a reference for working with both children and parents. I'm just such a fan... so you're most welcome that I read each article but I truly look forward to it each week. They're just so full of goodness. So thank you! 🙏